words don't get me far.

last night i unknowingly realised something about myself.
i know its weird but
i like to conjure up theories secretly in my own mind
and most of them are seriously conflicting thoughts
but now i know
the one and only top theory on my list should always have been

to always always be pessimistic about things.

im either a fucking retard,
or there's seriously something wrong with me.
i dont even listen to the dire warnings squeaking in my own head.
cos the second time has to mean something.
its so ironical when you think about how it started in the first place.
for both times, yes.
history in the making.

i need to stop being so freaking transparent.
i think everyone can see words floating out of my brains as i walk past them or something.

something like this only happens to dumb girls.
i guess im just a dumb dumb dumb dumb girl
thats what i am.

OKAY ENOUGH OF THIS.
MY BLOG IS SERIOUSLY BLACK-AND-WHITE-LY MORBID ENOUGH.
HAPPYGALZ.
so much for even attempting.

/ lucy woodward dumb girls.

and this is how this night is gonna end.
im sitting here at 3a.m
i just
want it to be like it was before
cos i dont think that my heart can take much more.

THE END.